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- Created On: Apr 23, 2010
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1. | Dec 16, 2013
, you can't just make yourself gay. (Also, I think it would be insnutilg to turn to women if you're not actually attracted to them, like they're just the backup option.)I also felt like you did when I was younger, uncomfortable and leery of the popular construction of true love without really knowing why. Privileging the narrative of (heterosexual) monogamy > marriage > kids is a perfect way of maintaining the status quo of the gender hierarchy, even though it's disguised as something for women (because men don't like that icky romance stuff). Let's not even start on the idea that we must have a boyfriend to be happy.I'm lucky enough that, not only is my boyfriend pro-feminist, we actually started dating before I came to feminism, and he followed me through that transformation instead of fleeing in terror. (What are the odds?) Sometimes he is less sexist or at least better about being educated about it than some women I know. Of course this doesn't contradict the fact that most women are smarter about sexism than most men. But if I had judged all men according to that trend, then I would have missed out on my boyfriend. This is partly what I wanted to say in that post of mine that you linked you can't always judge individuals according to the broad trends displayed by the group. You just have to hold out for the good ones, few as they may be.
2. | Dec 14, 2013
This is my first time posting a rneopsse here. I'm sorry if it's too long as I work through my thoughts. I have a dissenting view about the lesbian stereotype. I don't feel it's always homophobic to worry about whether or not feminists are portrayed as mostly lesbians or other specific groups/types, because such images influence people's understanding of the applications of feminism. It's human nature to try to rectify the wrongs that affect you personally. I'm not lesbian, but I do have some class rage after a lifetime of seeing my parents struggle in a so-called equitable society. So I gravitate towards movements that speak to my personal glass ceiling, even though I want equality for everyone. So stereotypes that seem to limit feminism's interests to one group are problematic, not out of homophobia, but because sexual orientation is among all gender/class/race ideas that demand political attention. Using lesbian identity as a defining feature of feminists may be homophobic, but it might also have the effect of distancing non-homophobes who are seeking general political agendas for equality.To be honest, I've avoided active feminism as a result of one negative stereotype in particular: the idea that feminists fault men as individuals for male privilege as a class. BetaCandy's phrase the patriarchy hates men is a spark of hope for me. In my heart, I know I am a feminist. I agree with the goals and terms of feminism, but I've resisted feminism out of an aversion to generalizing male privilege because, I guess, my father exemplifies the soft-spoken, hard-working, struggling citizen, who didn't have the luxury of education and who has never expressed a word or act of oppression.It's true, the patriarchy hates men! The patriarchy takes away the voice of male victims. While feminists can and should point out inequities of gender, many men can't point to their exclusion from power, because there is ostensibly no reason for it. This is the patriarchy's trick on all of us. It sets up a group of powerholders; and people who are visibly identifiable with that group are taught to respect that power (after all, they might be lucky enough to share in it one day, they are told), OR they resent the power but have no voice against it. If we are all given the chance to pursue positions in that structure, we will all be in the shut up and work harder boat. It is a system that depends on oppression, using any pretext. So how do we change that? (I don't know).I'm sorry if my rneopsse got a little long or noisy I do get swept with enthusiasm, especially because I realized that stereotypes have kept me at arms length.
3. | Dec 13, 2013
En Alicante lo que se soleda hacer era ir a pescar el pulpo a la playa, y luego lo dejas secar (ya mutreo, claro este1). Recuerdo que de pequef1a pasaba por unos pisos donde un sef1or siempre teneda colgados pulpos a secar en las cuerdas de tender la ropa; me llamaba mucho la atencif3n. La cosa es que este9 en un lugar seco pero aireado. Una vez ased se suele echar durante el af1o a los guisos de pescado con patatas. Tambie9n es corriente asarlo al fuego (en una cocina de gas tb vale)y te lo comes ased. Incluso hay un tipo de pescado con el que se hace lo mismo: los capellanes'. Una vez secos se churrascan en el fuego y con un chorrito de aceite te los comes este1n riquedsimos. a1La cocina mediterre1nea!
4. | May 18, 2013
I suppsoe that sounds and smells just about right.